Flourish
Setpember 2005
vol. 1, no. 7
I know
someone who is planning on filing her dissertation this
Tuesday, let's call her Liz. I've watched her through the
process and learned a lot from it so I thought it would
make a good story for us this month's Flourish.
About
this time last year Liz received a twelve-month fellowship
with one condition: she had to finish her dissertation within
a year. It would be a real challenge, since she had an outline
for the dissertation and some data, but no actual chapters.
Still, she had been in graduate school a while and wanted
to be done. So, she made a plan.
First,
she decided to continue teaching, since she was developing
some relationships with local colleges that might hire her
after she was done. But she made sure that all were classes
she had taught before and that met in the evening or on
the weekend. That way, she kept her days for writing, when
she was freshest. As the year went along she found that
this decision was a good one. Writing the dissertation involved
spending so much time at home that it was good to get out
and see other human beings once or twice a week. It also
meant she had to manage her time efficiently.
Second,
she made a monthly schedule, putting down the exact days
when she would send each chapter draft to her committee.
She gave herself five weeks for each. Third, Liz wrote down
an exact date when she intended to file, the day after Labor
Day, this September 6. Fourth, she made a daily schedule:
get up, drink a pot of tea, gather wits, exercise for forty-five
minutes, and write through the morning, about three or four
hours. If she had the energy, she could write for another
hour in the afternoon, but that time was scheduled for teaching
prep or reading. Liz wanted to set up a sustainable writing
pace, one that wouldn't burn her out in a month.
And
then she got started. Some days she found it difficult to
stick to the plan, she had little energy or “just couldn't
face it.” Sometimes she had energy, but her thoughts didn't
come together so she became frustrated. Most days, though,
she wrote as planned. On the days when she couldn't, she
sometimes managed to organize her files. Although it seemed
like busy work at the time, she found that adding relevant
articles and notes to topic binders made a real difference
as the year went along.
After
the first month, when the time came to send the first chapter
draft to her advisor, Liz started to get anxious. She had
been working steadily on the chapter, but knew how many
flaws it had. “I can't send this!” she told me. “It's terrible.”
Liz thought very highly of her advisor and didn't want the
advisor to think badly of her. “If I had just another month,
I know this chapter would be so much better and she wouldn't
think I was an idiot.” At the same time, Liz knew that delaying
would affect her final deadline.
We
agreed, too, that withholding writing from dissertation
advisors isn't a very good way to “manage” them. Inundating
them with writing is better. That is, keep advisors focused
on what they aren't doing for you (reading and responding)
rather than on what you aren't doing for them (writing).
Besides, it's better to get any severe critiques early on,
when you can do something about them, than at the end, when
you can't. Finally, after a year of receiving and reading
a steady stream of chapters, an advisor is unlikely to say,
“Wait! This is terrible, rewrite all of it!”
So,
Liz started sending her chapters to her advisor. It was
tough; the first criticisms, although fair, took some real
work for Liz to absorb. Liz didn't always make her exact
deadline (in fact, she was frequently a week or even two
behind). But she kept sending chapters. And she kept up
her daily schedule of writing for several hours in the morning.
After about seven months of this, she had six of the seven
chapters drafted and a good sense of what she needed to
do to revise them. “I have a dissertation!” she thought.
Her advisor agreed. Liz started to revise the six chapters,
leaving the seventh chapter for later, since she had a good
outline for it and knew how it should read.
About
nine months in, her relationship with her advisor shifted.
The more Liz wrote, the more ownership she felt of the dissertation
and the more she saw herself as the expert on it. When her
advisor's comments came back, she didn't just follow them
exactly but thought carefully about them. The day came when
the advisor offered a critique of one section, and Liz wrote
back defending it in a short but firm email. The advisor
saw her point.
About
two months before the dissertation was due, Liz started
to pick up the pace. She had done enough work that it was
possible to actually file by her deadline. Feeling the pressure
increase, she regularly started waking up at three in the
morning. Instead of fighting it, she would get up and write,
making a point to go to bed earlier. She was now steadily
writing about six hours a day, something that would have
been impossible at the beginning of the year. Her advisor
was also steadily giving her feedback.
About
a month before the dissertation was due, I gave her a warning,
based on my own experience finishing my first book. “It's
like the universe knows that you are about to accomplish
something big and causes chaos,” I told her. “Stop answering
your phone.” She laughed, but the very next day an old friend
got angry with her over something small and a precious day
was lost to stewing and trying to get past stewing. Then
friends started to drop by, “Just to say hi--see how you're
doing. We haven't seen you in forever!” and would end up
staying for two hours during prime writing time. Then someone
from out of town wanted to stay on her couch for two days.
All perfectly innocent and all costing precious hours and
energy. For the first time in her life, Liz found herself
being firm. No, no, no.
About
two weeks before the dissertation was due, disaster struck.
Liz sent her seventh chapter to her advisor. Liz knew it
was the weakest of the chapters, having received the least
amount of work, but she was hoping to whip it into shape
in the time left. The advisor didn't agree. Too much work
remained, the advisor said, either cut the chapter entirely
or change the deadline. Agony!
At
first Liz said she would cut it, but the more she thought
about it, the worse she felt. It was such an important chapter,
the one where she pulled things together. But moving the
deadline was impossible too, she had to finish by September
6 given the terms of her fellowship. It didn't matter to
her that others had gotten the same fellowship and were
nowhere close to finishing their dissertation. Having integrity
was important to her. Plus intense feelings of failure welled
up whenever Liz thought about changing the September 6 deadline.
What
to do? What to do? In How
to Write Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day
(Owl Books, 1998), Joan Bolker recommends that if you need
just one more week to file, ask for it! Advisors and administrators
can help if you really are on the verge of filing but run
into some snag. So, yesterday, Liz called the department
and asked what the absolute last date was for filing and
… it was September 29 not September 6! Saved!
Last
night Liz was planning on having her first good night of
sleep in two weeks. But I heard from her this morning that
she got up at three again and was working steadily. I guess
some part of her doesn't really believe the new date. And
she does have to teach three classes this fall!
So,
what will happen? Will Liz file by her new deadline of September
29? Will some new snafu turn up? I'll let you know in the
next Flourish!!